Last Horseman Standing, The 5 Mile Challenge and Mr Pickles

 So the Top Barn Challenge is going well. Half well!  The 2nd Last Horseman Standing Challenge was to stand behind a pole, and get your horse to touch a cone 2 metres away! Charlie? No problem. Charlie has been taught to target. Lu has not. I started with a quick lesson in target training. Lu couldn't see the point. I tried lunging her to the cone, in the hope that she would touch it. Nope. I tried laying down reaching out towards the cone. Lu thought I had lost the plot. Prudence in the meantime thought this meant doggo cuddles, and Charlie kept zooming in, touching the cone, and begging for treats.  Eventually I 'ground tied' Lu to the Cone, stood behind the pole and relaxed with a coffee. Lu stood there staring at me.  I picked up a lunge whip and tapped the cone. Voila! She also touched the cone. Whoop whoop. Onto Level 3.  

Level 3 is simple. Mount horse from normal side, stand for 10 seconds, then mount horse from other side and stand for 10 seconds (without pulling their back teeth out).  Easy I thought, rushing over to the Yard. For a start it was windy, and farm machinery was doing its farming thing nearby. Secondly Lu was Hangry. We are strip grazing them, so she clearly thought I was there to move the fence back. Nope, I brought her into the "School" and tried the Challenge bareback in a head-collar. She Would Not Stand at The Mounting Block!!!!!! Then I remembered that I have to hold onto her when Jo mounts.  Ahhh Not so easy then!

Gave it a rest for 2 days.  Then took her to The Round Pen, tacked up. Lu thought we were off for a hack, and walked off the minute my arse hit the saddle. Several times. In between that, she slowly backed up, barged through me, and even bit me.  Eventually she was as bored as I was and stood still. For at least 30 seconds, while Jo checked the phone could still see us and was filming. Dare I hope for a repeat mounting from the Offside?  Yes I could.  Hopefully we are through to Level 4.  We await with baited breath to see what fiendish Challenge awaits us tomorrow. I suspect it may involve the pole, and backing up. Lu will not back up for the Pope, let alone a mere mortal like her Chamber-maid!!!

Charlie and I are not doing so well with the 100 mile Challenge. In 2 weeks we have done a grand total of...er...yup...5 Miles!!!  Only another 95 to go then. Our mileage has been gained in between The Last Horseman Standing Challenge, clearing out the old Barn and yet another trip to Papworth, where I had to perform my 6 minute walk test (pointless, as I had tweaked an old knee injury and pretty much dragged my right leg behind throughout the test).  My right knee, shin and thigh were smashed up, crushed and destroyed when I was 17, in an accident involving a horse falling on the road (with my leg still in the perfect position), followed by a motorbike accident 11 days after I had my cast off. My knee creaks like an old barge, and I limp like an ancient Farrier at the best of times. This is my excuse (along with The Dodgy Lungs and Dicky Ticker) if I get to the end of the 2 months having only done 20 miles!!!  And The Patchy Twat is not happy going out solo. Despite our bond, everything becomes a scary dragon when its just me and him anywhere beyond the Farm. However its not over Til The Fat Lady Sings. In my fantasy land, he will let me ride him, and we will zoom off into the Sunset together, clocking up the miles by October. In reality I will spend the next two months persuading a rearing, planting Patchy Twat that life beyond the Bottom Of The Drive is possible (without being accompanied by a grouchy Shetland mare and an 8 year old!

And back to that mention of Barn Clearance. Our old Barn is literally falling in. Our Horse Landlord finally decided to repair it. The Barn is full of 20-odd years of crap, which has mostly fallen to Jo to clear out. Many dump runs have ensued. 

On Monday, while Jo was slaving away, she found a Hedgepig, wrapped in the netting we discard from the hay-bales. How bad do we feel?  Just wanting to get the whole thing away from the hay, we have been discarding it into a no-mans-land of rubbish left by long gone liveries. So Jo and a friend managed to unwrap the said Hedgepig, who was quite small and very shaken.  I had a dog crate in my truck (along with a Kitchen sink.....Don't ask), so we set up home for the Hedgepig in the crate, with a cardboard box house, and kept him in the Tackroom for 5 days. Jo fed him the best Cat Food, while I dug up worms from the Muck-heap and caught ear-wigs for him.  We called him Mr. Pickles. All week he has wolfed the cat-food, and fattened up.  Yesterday he started to try and get out. Time to upgrade his rehab. Our friend Joey has a lovely big garden and a Hedgehog house!  So Mr. Pickles went to live with his new mum, in a large pen in Joeys's Garden. When he is settled, she will remove the pen wire, and Mr Pickles can live a normal Hedgepig life.

Do drop by in a couple of weeks to see how the LHS Challenge is going, and to see if Charlie and I have managed another 5 miles!!

Top Barn Mania, Transplant Options and Life Goes On

 Top Barn Mania has got to me!!! So I entered Charlie into some shows! And I had hacked his mane off....And he was still a bit Feral. MMMM What to do?  Ah yes. Hog him.  But he is scared of the Trimmers, and they would never go through that mane.   !!!! Ok buy some bigger Cordless Clippers. It would be fine!  Actually due to the work I have done with the trimmers, it wasn't such a bad plan! We spent an hour with the Trimmers and a lot of carrots. In that time I had trimmed Charlies face. Next day within an hour, the boy was hogged with the big clippers!

Next, teach him to lunge quietly!  That's where it all fell apart!  Charlie just doesn't do lunging. For a start, he is partially sighted in his off-side eye. So he doesn't like being lunged when his bad eye is on the outside. He is also more comfortable at Liberty. Still, we ran through the Groundwork Challenge. He cantered instead of walking in lunge. Then I got all dressed up to do the showing classes. Quite easy I thought.  But Charlie absolutely refused to trot up! Then I found out we had another week to achieve perfection. 

And what a week it was!  On the Monday I had to go to Papworth Hospital to attend the Transplant Clinic.  They just didn't sell it!  To get on the Transplant list I would have to live like a Nun. Then if I did get a transplant ( I need Lungs and Heart), I would have to wrap myself up in cotton wool. And all this would involve monthly visits to check I hadn't had any Sherry Trifle for at least 6 months, as well as going back to Hospital to be poked and probed. I politely declined going on the list. I have never wanted a Transplant anyway. i feel if your time is up, then its up.  And I would rather someone younger with kids had the new heart and lungs. I have had a good life, and intend to live the rest of it to the full, and if that involves a bottle of wine, then so be it. I'd rather go out with crash, bang, wallop, while laughing than live a half life! BTW Charlie and I never did get that perfection. Still sulking, he refused to trot up and I simply don't have the puff to push him. But at least we tried.

And now I have become a Top Barn Challenge Junkie!!! I entered The Last Horseman Standing competition, even though it involves riding. Jo is currently unable to ride, with a bad hip, so kindly lent me Lulu for the Challenge.  Each week a new Challenge becomes available, and we have the week to complete it.  First week....Send horse around you in a circle on both reins without moving your feet. Its harder than it sounds, but Lu aced it (being well trained by her mum). Can't wait to see what next weeks Challenge is.

As if working with a different pony isn't enough, I have entered Charlie into the 100 mile Challenge. We have to complete 100 miles together in 2 months. I will have to do most of it on foot. Lets hope the inconvenient IV drugs are working!!!  Its one way to find out! He is a wuss when going out without another horse! I'm hoping he will take pity on me, and let me ride him!!! As well as that, I have a trick video i want to create. Charlie and I have just received our Level 2 Award from The Trick Academy, so we need to keep working onwards.

I'll update you all next month (if I'm not in my bed with exhaustion!)

The New Normal, A Feral Pony, Football Mania, and The Top Barn Show.

 Well its all been happening!!! I got the call from Papworth to go in and have my Hickman Line fitted.  I was held captive for 2 whole weeks!!! And I mean held captive. Due to Covid, I was literally stuck in my room the whole 2 weeks, except for the day a nurse felt sorry for me and snuck me outside for 10 minutes. I was literally pacing the room (all of 3m x 5m), and was thinking how a stabled horse must feel.  Although I am pretty feral, I am after all a Human Being and designed to live indoors. However, horses are designed to live outdoors, and in a herd. I also had stuff to occupy me mentally. Reading, Binge watching Heartland, I even learned to French Knit!  But a horse does not have that luxury. If i was box walking, imagine how they feel.....no wonder stabled horses develop "vices". 

Anyhoo, I am now attached 24/7 to a pump (called Paddy Pump after my old pony). I wear it in a fetching Bum-Bag or an elasticated "pocket" at all times. It pumps drugs up a line which dives through a hole in my chest, into my heart. Its a pain in the arse, and I now spend at least half an hour a day changing the line and mixing new drugs. But I do believe I am starting to feel a little better, and am not panting like a sex phone line worker at the slightest exertion. If you are squeamish, please scroll through the next pic.  This is the New Normal.

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We had set up a track system before I left, in The 3 Acre.  Big Ponies to the right, Minis to the left.  But typically the Big Herd, couldn't wait for Jo to expand their grazing so barged out, breaking yet more expensive plastic poles. So Jo let them out into the middle ground, while poo-picking and rearranging the fence configuration. And so Charlie became feral, refusing to be caught, and spending at least one night alone in the middle knee deep in grass. He had become allergic to his headcollar.  When I came back, I childishly expected him to have missed me as much as I had missed him. In my fantasy, he galloped over, jumping up and whickering (like the dog had). In reality though, he accepted a scratch and blew through his nostrils, before returning to the more important grass.

I thought it may take a while to re-tame him. Coinciding with Football mania in England, The Trick Academy had a challenge to send in ball playing pony vids. I donned my England shirt, blew up an inflatable ball, collected my England Flag and set off to the Field to make a video with the Feral Charlie. As expected his head-collar allergy was still there, so I pottered about with the ball and flag, and his curiosity got the better of him.  Soon we were playing Football and waving flags. Charlie the Trick Pony is back!

Now I have a real challenge on my hands!! Whilst bored in Hospital, I entered the Top Barn July Competitions.  I must have been High on painkillers!!!! I have entered the Groundwork Comp, which includes lunging.  Charlie DOES NOT lunge!!! Errr...so thats 2 weeks to teach him then! Big challenge as he prefers to work at Liberty and being partially sighted in his O/S eye, he like to stick with me, rather than move away. Hmmm.  I also entered Prettiest Head. Well I think he has a beautiful head!  And then I entered Best Pony. Get pony bathed, Yup, Get Dressed Up, Yup, Walk, Trot (maybe Yup, the drugs should allow me to run a little), but before my incarceration I literally hacked off his mane in case it was blazing hot. Now I have to figure out a way to plait a thick short stubby main 😅

SUMMER HAS ARRIVED!!!! And Trust Is a Two Way Thing.

 Yes you saw it here first (well actually you may have noticed), SUMMER IS HERE!!!! Finally the temperatures have soared into the 20's.  I have had my old fleece surgically removed from my body. I have cautiously cut a pair of jeans down (only to knee length, I mean I do not want to subject the world to my blue thighs yet). The boots are where they should be at this time of year, in the Boot cupboard, and the Crocs firmly glued on. I may even have a Watch mark appearing!

So after a trip to Papworth recently, I found out my Dodgy Lungs are ever more Dodgy, and my Dicky Ticker is very Dicky. I have agreed to have a Hickman Line fitted this Summer (now its finally arrived). Without going into boring details, a Hickman Line goes from the Heart, pops out of a hole in the Chest area, and attaches to a pump (worn in a fetching Bum-Bag at all times), which continuously pumps drugs in every 5 seconds.  Apparently this is not to be used for recreational drugs....Spoilsports!!!!  This means A) my Heart may cope a little better when its fitted, and B) I have to take it easy until then.

So with this in mind, I have abandoned trying to ride Charlie and resumed with Tricks, Trust and Connection. Charlie loves playing games and learning new tricks. He is curious with new things.  This is NOT because I have desensitised him by flooding. It's because he trusts me. There is a lot of talk in the Horse World about Desensitisation and 'Flooding' is often used. I.E Horse is frightened of the Hose? Hold him down and hose him, until he gives in!!  And there's a mind trick for you!!!! Trying to think of an example of 'Flooding' I came up with Hosing!!!!!! But this happens with anything...Saddles, Clippers, Traffic, Umbrellas, Noise, Dogs, etc etc.  The Horse has not 'got used to it', he cannot get away and has shut down in fear!!  For example if you are out on a Hack and your horse freezes at the sight of a cow? You shout at him, maybe take a whip to him? Eventually he passes the cow. But this has only added to his fear of cows!  Next cow he sees? Same scenario happens.  It is impossible to Desensitise your horse to every single thing.

But if your Horse trusts you its a different matter. Something scary? You gently say "Have a look, think about it. I'm Not Scared. Its Ok". It may take time, but if the Horse trusts you, he will eventually pass the scary cow/dog/giant green alien and Hey Presto....Nothing bad happened. The Horse trusted you, and you were right! Next time out...Cow? Scary? I don't think so.

So that's why i work at Liberty with Charlie. There is no reason for him to stay with me, when I introduce something new. But there is also no reason for him to run away. He trusts me. I do not chase him down, but stay put with whatever weird 'toy' I produce. I let him come to me. Last week I collected a Carrot Cannon from my friend Amanda.  It's genius! Two short pipes that swivel on a wooden frame. Treats go in one end, the Cannon is tilted up, and the Horse has to work out to push on the pipes to get the treat out.  When I first put it in the Field, there was snorting and spooking from both Lu and Charlie.  But when they realised I hadn't been eaten by the scary contraption, they both came over. Charlie approached first, but Lu figured out the connection quicker (It's a Girl Thing).

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Don't forget, Trust is a Two-Way thing.  You cannot expect your Horse to trust you, if you do not trust him. I often work in bare feet with Charlie. I like being bare-footed!  It does not occur to me that he might stand on my feet, because I trust him not to. I like to lay down with the Herd. I trust they won't stand on me....because they don't. I used to ride back from the Pub in the dark on my old pony Paddy. Couldn't see a damn thing....But he could, so I trusted him to get me home.

Have a good Summer with your Horse. 

A Name Change, Feathers Off and The Weather Report

 Well lets start with the Weather report shall we??? So it rained. Yes we needed the rain. NO problem with rain.  What I do have a problem with is the prolonged cold! It's the middle of May and the temperature has hovered around 8c to 10c.  With that never ending damn North Easterly Wind!!  Come On!!!!  I resolutely wore crocs for a week.....before conceding defeat and going back to boots before I got frostbite of the toes!!!! Here's hoping June will bring the warmth. At least the grass is finally growing!

So eagle-eyed Blog readers (and Facebook/You Tube Followers) may have noticed I have ditched the East Suffolk Ponies name, and changed it all to Charlie The Trick Pony. East Suffolk Ponies was an off-shoot of East Suffolk Dog Walkers, from the days when I was a Dog Walker.  The days when I could actually walk several dogs a day. The East Suffolk Ponies off shoot was basically for my free-lance grooming.  As my dodgy lungs have become dodgier, all that has ceased, and I realized that the Blog/You Tube and the Facebook page is predominantly about Charlie. As he now knows a few tricks.....I sort of feel it's Ok to call him a Trick Pony😂. Being shite at Social Media I thought it would be really hard to change all the formats. But actually it has gone smoothly. Unless of course, everything has disappeared and I am just babbling on to myself.  Please let me know!

And now the really serious subject. Feathers. Not bird feathers, but those thick profusions that surround cold blooded horses legs. Although if you have a heavily feathered Gypsy Cob (like Charlie), you may well find a family of birds nesting happily within all that fur.

Feathers were invented on Horses that live in cold climates....to keep their feet warm. They also provide protection from the wet and the mud, and from cuts and abrasions from rocky ground. Most of the Native Horses from Northern Europe have a smattering of feathers in Winter. Think Fells, Dales, Shetlands, Highlands, Icelandic, Fresians etc etc....The list goes on. Most of these feathers are soft and silky, quite thin and easy to keep.  And it makes sense to keep these feathers long in Winter as their natural protection.  I have always believed in keeping a horse as natural as possible, including the kit it came with!  Its there for a good reason. 

And then we come to Gypsy Cobs!!!  Made up from a mixture of Native English Breeds, they have profuse feathers. Very pretty when they are combed out daily, oiled and when the owner has time to spend 6 hours a day ferreting about checking for mites, cuts etc.  I love Charlies feathers (even if they are so thick they produce their own dreadlocks and have a micro climate of their own).  I never thought I would cut them off. We have managed very well over the last 5 years, with a little thinning in Summer and a whole heap of conditioner. 

However........This year (blame it on the Weird Weather) he has become very itchy. The usual ton of Mite Powder has not worked. Being in the Hill Field he has access to the Telephone Wires to scratch on.  Whilst he loves this activity, he has managed to scratch a couple of raw patches on his back legs (as well as disturbing the Internet Connection of an entire town).

So in order to treat the sores, I have had to cut off those feathers! When I say cut, I mean hack!  I didn't know weather to start with Garden Sheers, a Strimmer or a Chainsaw!!  I opted for scissors. The first pair, got some feather off one hind leg. The second pair sort of thinned the other hind leg. I sprayed his legs with iodine, and returned to the Tack Room with 2 pairs of blunt scissors and blisters on 2 fingers. I bought some new heavy duty scissors and continued my quest. More fur off, more bloody fingers! Time taken....2.5 hours!!!  Then I was offered some Sheep Shearing Hand Clippers. Today I clipped his front legs quite quickly, and there were NO bloody fingers! (Thank You Sharon).  Its messy....and I will probably spend all week faffing about with scissors and trimmers to get a neat finish......BUT....I got to those sore bits. 

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A Long, Long Winter!

 So whats been happening since the Top Barn Challenge finished???  Well not a lot.  The brief warm days (2 of them to be precise) went as quickly as they came.....and it snowed again!  Not laying this time, but when you have snow showers instead of April Showers, you know its cold.  Having girded our loins for the last 3 months to work the horses in all weathers, we have had Winter Shutdown now.  April has been cold!!  And dry!!  The winds have blown from the North East relentlessly, and the grass is not growing. 

Having moved the Biggies back to The Bowling Green, we were able to not feed them hay for a least 3 days!!  Then they started breaking the fence down to get back to the bare field they moved from!! After Charlie had stretched the springs in 2 gate handles, and Lu had broken down the whole fence, we gave in and moved them to The Hill Field.  Despite a minuscule amount of new grass, they have been happy for a week now!! The Minis were moved to The Bowling Green.....where they seem to have found enough grass to satisfy them.

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There has been No rain, and No warmth!! We are in what is known as a Blackthorn Winter!  Folklore says while the Blackthorn blossom is in full bloom, it will remain cold!  The Blackthorn Blossom is still in full bloom! Jo has tried wearing flip flops, and i have shed a layer (and braved bare feet in crocs), but it hasn't worked. We have gone back to Winter boots (and even hats on some days).  Still, Summer has to arrive soon, doesn't it? Then I can moan about how hot it is, and the flies!!!!

On a good note......We have sharers for both Lily and Daisy.  No names mentioned yet (so as not to jinx it, and also because I haven't asked them if they mind me rambling about them). Jo and I are super excited to have these two mares getting some extra love and attention.  They are both cracking mares but we don't have enough time to lavish on them (as they are so easy compared to The Patchy Twat and The Blonde Diva).

And so the only thing that I have done with Charlie this month is enter him into a showing class in The Top Barn Hub.  Its been too cold (did I mention that?) to bath him, so Class 1-The Smartest Pair was out.  Hes neither a baby, or a Veteran, so another 2 Classes out. Best Ridden????? Really. Only if it means shortest duration before getting off, or being ejected. Best Trot? Charlie has a cracking trot, but with my dodgy lungs and dicky ticker? Not a Chance....!! So Judges Favorite it was.Criteria...Show off Horses Character.  I think we pulled that one off!!

Tune in next month to see if Summer has arrived!!  This has been The Weather Channel!

BOOM! Top Barn 12 Week Challenge Completed! Now What?

 Whoop Whoop!!! Both Jo and I completed the Top Barn 12 Week Challenge.  I went to the Wire! Only completing my hours on the very last day.  But we did it!

Week 11.... Charlie started in Full Patchy Twat Mode.  Took him for a walk out in-hand down the lane.  This brave pony that doesn't mind me popping balloons in his face, took exception to daffodils, waving gracefully in the wind!! He planted more than a farmer in spring.

Funny how a 14hh pony can grow to 16hh in seconds!

On Day 4 I decided to go for some TRT methods of leading.....that was after I spent 15 minutes trying to catch him!! This used to happen every day, but since I began Clicker Training its a rare occurrence. A sure sign that he needs a break!  Come on Charlie.....Not now!

The following day Patchy Twat mode was disabled.  We had a pamper session, some TRT leading and RIDING!!! With Jo at his head (but not leading) we rode around the Round Pen several times, with Charlie looking like a Riding School Pony!!

We finished the week in High Winds with some tricks and a balloon popping video for Horse Tricks 101 Group. The wind carried off a few balloons!!!

Week 12 - At last the weather was OK.  I started off with some Clipper Training. Most pleased..... Managed to clip some feathers and Charlies withers!!!!! Big deal for a pony that took off at the sight of running clippers!!

So Day 2 - Jo and I thought we would film some Mini Challenges.  The In-hand stuff went well. And so to the Ridden Challenges.  As I had ridden Charlie all of 4 times (with Jo on foot), I naturally thought I could hop up and do some ridden challenges, while Jo was doing them on Lu.  Charlie said No Way, Too Fast, NOT Happening!!!! Having got up he planted.  I got him moving, then he planted again. Jo and Lu came to give him a lead, but the only thing that was working was reverse and spin. Like some sort of washing machine cycle.  He was as tense as a crossbow, shortened up ready to explode. I caught sight of his rolling eyes and decided to get off. The Old Me would have stayed on and got after him.  The Old Me nagging away says I was a coward! The Old Me would have sat the explosion.  But the New Me is Old, with Dodgy Lungs and a Dicky Ticker.  The New Me also realises that frightening Charlie is going back several months. He had reached Station Shut Down. I think I did the right thing.....At least the right thing for me and Charlie.

So my goal for The 12 Week Challenge was to be hacking out by the end.  The Final Hours of the Challenge were a Fizzle rather than a BANG.  We spent the final time doing old tricks, nothing too stressful for the Boy. BUT......We have achieved Riding and Clipping.....my 2 goals if not completely, then we have made a good start.

So Whats Next??? Well Charlie has had the last week off. Typical English weather! Tuesday and Wednesday were 20c, T-Shirt weather, now its snowing again!! But on Wednesday, I had a lovely hack on Daisy, with Jo and Lu. Charlie and I have a new trick to learn, and I will continue to ride him, but slowly with Jo beside him, until he is OK with that. Repetition is everything with this pony!

This last weekend being Easter, and Charlottes last week with us (Charlotte has been doing her Duke Of Edinburgh award with us), we had an Easter Egg Hunt down the lane for our stoic Saturday Helpers. Easter eggs were found!

A Big Shout Out to our Saturday Helpers!

First up Neecy who has been with us since she was 13.  She is now 18, and could look after the ponies blindfold. She is indispensable and has a special relationship with Daisy.

And then there is Nancy, who is 8 years old and has been helping for the last 4 years,  She is happy to poo pick, dragging a heavy scoop to the trailer, and is much loved by Mini The Shitland.

Finally Thanks to Charlotte, (13) who has been doing her D of E with us and has worked her butt off every Saturday for the last 6 months despite the cold Winter. We will miss you!

Happy Easter...............See You all Soon.