Last Horseman Standing, The 5 Mile Challenge and Mr Pickles

 So the Top Barn Challenge is going well. Half well!  The 2nd Last Horseman Standing Challenge was to stand behind a pole, and get your horse to touch a cone 2 metres away! Charlie? No problem. Charlie has been taught to target. Lu has not. I started with a quick lesson in target training. Lu couldn't see the point. I tried lunging her to the cone, in the hope that she would touch it. Nope. I tried laying down reaching out towards the cone. Lu thought I had lost the plot. Prudence in the meantime thought this meant doggo cuddles, and Charlie kept zooming in, touching the cone, and begging for treats.  Eventually I 'ground tied' Lu to the Cone, stood behind the pole and relaxed with a coffee. Lu stood there staring at me.  I picked up a lunge whip and tapped the cone. Voila! She also touched the cone. Whoop whoop. Onto Level 3.  

Level 3 is simple. Mount horse from normal side, stand for 10 seconds, then mount horse from other side and stand for 10 seconds (without pulling their back teeth out).  Easy I thought, rushing over to the Yard. For a start it was windy, and farm machinery was doing its farming thing nearby. Secondly Lu was Hangry. We are strip grazing them, so she clearly thought I was there to move the fence back. Nope, I brought her into the "School" and tried the Challenge bareback in a head-collar. She Would Not Stand at The Mounting Block!!!!!! Then I remembered that I have to hold onto her when Jo mounts.  Ahhh Not so easy then!

Gave it a rest for 2 days.  Then took her to The Round Pen, tacked up. Lu thought we were off for a hack, and walked off the minute my arse hit the saddle. Several times. In between that, she slowly backed up, barged through me, and even bit me.  Eventually she was as bored as I was and stood still. For at least 30 seconds, while Jo checked the phone could still see us and was filming. Dare I hope for a repeat mounting from the Offside?  Yes I could.  Hopefully we are through to Level 4.  We await with baited breath to see what fiendish Challenge awaits us tomorrow. I suspect it may involve the pole, and backing up. Lu will not back up for the Pope, let alone a mere mortal like her Chamber-maid!!!

Charlie and I are not doing so well with the 100 mile Challenge. In 2 weeks we have done a grand total of...er...yup...5 Miles!!!  Only another 95 to go then. Our mileage has been gained in between The Last Horseman Standing Challenge, clearing out the old Barn and yet another trip to Papworth, where I had to perform my 6 minute walk test (pointless, as I had tweaked an old knee injury and pretty much dragged my right leg behind throughout the test).  My right knee, shin and thigh were smashed up, crushed and destroyed when I was 17, in an accident involving a horse falling on the road (with my leg still in the perfect position), followed by a motorbike accident 11 days after I had my cast off. My knee creaks like an old barge, and I limp like an ancient Farrier at the best of times. This is my excuse (along with The Dodgy Lungs and Dicky Ticker) if I get to the end of the 2 months having only done 20 miles!!!  And The Patchy Twat is not happy going out solo. Despite our bond, everything becomes a scary dragon when its just me and him anywhere beyond the Farm. However its not over Til The Fat Lady Sings. In my fantasy land, he will let me ride him, and we will zoom off into the Sunset together, clocking up the miles by October. In reality I will spend the next two months persuading a rearing, planting Patchy Twat that life beyond the Bottom Of The Drive is possible (without being accompanied by a grouchy Shetland mare and an 8 year old!

And back to that mention of Barn Clearance. Our old Barn is literally falling in. Our Horse Landlord finally decided to repair it. The Barn is full of 20-odd years of crap, which has mostly fallen to Jo to clear out. Many dump runs have ensued. 

On Monday, while Jo was slaving away, she found a Hedgepig, wrapped in the netting we discard from the hay-bales. How bad do we feel?  Just wanting to get the whole thing away from the hay, we have been discarding it into a no-mans-land of rubbish left by long gone liveries. So Jo and a friend managed to unwrap the said Hedgepig, who was quite small and very shaken.  I had a dog crate in my truck (along with a Kitchen sink.....Don't ask), so we set up home for the Hedgepig in the crate, with a cardboard box house, and kept him in the Tackroom for 5 days. Jo fed him the best Cat Food, while I dug up worms from the Muck-heap and caught ear-wigs for him.  We called him Mr. Pickles. All week he has wolfed the cat-food, and fattened up.  Yesterday he started to try and get out. Time to upgrade his rehab. Our friend Joey has a lovely big garden and a Hedgehog house!  So Mr. Pickles went to live with his new mum, in a large pen in Joeys's Garden. When he is settled, she will remove the pen wire, and Mr Pickles can live a normal Hedgepig life.

Do drop by in a couple of weeks to see how the LHS Challenge is going, and to see if Charlie and I have managed another 5 miles!!

A Long, Long Winter!

 So whats been happening since the Top Barn Challenge finished???  Well not a lot.  The brief warm days (2 of them to be precise) went as quickly as they came.....and it snowed again!  Not laying this time, but when you have snow showers instead of April Showers, you know its cold.  Having girded our loins for the last 3 months to work the horses in all weathers, we have had Winter Shutdown now.  April has been cold!!  And dry!!  The winds have blown from the North East relentlessly, and the grass is not growing. 

Having moved the Biggies back to The Bowling Green, we were able to not feed them hay for a least 3 days!!  Then they started breaking the fence down to get back to the bare field they moved from!! After Charlie had stretched the springs in 2 gate handles, and Lu had broken down the whole fence, we gave in and moved them to The Hill Field.  Despite a minuscule amount of new grass, they have been happy for a week now!! The Minis were moved to The Bowling Green.....where they seem to have found enough grass to satisfy them.

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There has been No rain, and No warmth!! We are in what is known as a Blackthorn Winter!  Folklore says while the Blackthorn blossom is in full bloom, it will remain cold!  The Blackthorn Blossom is still in full bloom! Jo has tried wearing flip flops, and i have shed a layer (and braved bare feet in crocs), but it hasn't worked. We have gone back to Winter boots (and even hats on some days).  Still, Summer has to arrive soon, doesn't it? Then I can moan about how hot it is, and the flies!!!!

On a good note......We have sharers for both Lily and Daisy.  No names mentioned yet (so as not to jinx it, and also because I haven't asked them if they mind me rambling about them). Jo and I are super excited to have these two mares getting some extra love and attention.  They are both cracking mares but we don't have enough time to lavish on them (as they are so easy compared to The Patchy Twat and The Blonde Diva).

And so the only thing that I have done with Charlie this month is enter him into a showing class in The Top Barn Hub.  Its been too cold (did I mention that?) to bath him, so Class 1-The Smartest Pair was out.  Hes neither a baby, or a Veteran, so another 2 Classes out. Best Ridden????? Really. Only if it means shortest duration before getting off, or being ejected. Best Trot? Charlie has a cracking trot, but with my dodgy lungs and dicky ticker? Not a Chance....!! So Judges Favorite it was.Criteria...Show off Horses Character.  I think we pulled that one off!!

Tune in next month to see if Summer has arrived!!  This has been The Weather Channel!

Top Barn Challenge - Weeks 4 and 5 (The C word will be mentioned).

 So week 4 was good!!  Jo and I got creative building an obstacle course for the Mid Challenge Challenge.  We have to go over something, under something, round something and do a trick.  Now we haven't put our entries in yet.....so our obstacle course cannot be revealed in full!!!  But lets just say....we raided the Pony Party Box!  We may have streamers, windmills, bells, guitars......and THAT HOOP!!!   We spent the week playing with our course.

THAT HOOP is entirely the fault of Amanda who is a friend from OOP North.  Amanda posted a video of a pony jumping through a hoop on a Trick Academy group we are both part of https://www.facebook.com/groups/horsetricksacademy

So the jumping through a hoop challenge is on!!!  We made our hoop with plastic pipes and cones (oh and lots and lots of gaffer tape).  Its a work in progress!!

Towards the end of the week I got on Charlie.  He was pretty laid back.  2 days later I got on him again, and asked for a few steps.  Again pretty laid back.

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Week 5 has been a bit odd.  Last Sunday my Aunt died (which left me in a strange place mentally).  I pulled myself together and got on with stuff.  Charlie and I did some filming for a Valentine Video, played round the Obstacle Course and went on a walk together.  I meant to go down the lane, but The Patchy Twat was in full Patchy Twat Mode, spooking violently on the way out of the gate! We wandered round the 3 Acre until he had calmed down. 

 The sun was shining in the 12 Acre (which has been planted with trees and re-wilded). The temptation was too much.  In we went. We walked up to the first clearing, Charlie was on full alert.  We had a graze (well he did), and slowly came back again. Walking towards the sun was a nightmare. Cars in the distance were glinting and flashing, as was a stack of wrapped haylage (at least a mile away). Charlie grew to about 16hh. And snorted like a dragon.  After some reassurance, and head down tricks, he calmed down and we continued to the Gate (which I hadn't opened properly), which had a small horse size gap and a lot of rabbit wire stopping it swinging open. AND THEN I SAW THE MUNTJACK!  It was not going to move!  I saw it first and swore loudly....which alerted Charlie! Note to Self....Never react to anything scary first!  After a stand off with the diminutive Deer, Charlie and I edged to the gate, and kind of bolted through in tandem.

It was obviously one of those days when ordinary everyday ponies turn in to dragons.  As I went off happily to get my first Covid Jab, Jo went out for a hack round the Village on Lu. Lu had also turned into a fire-snorting dragon, and an hour hack took much longer, as Lu discovered napping.

I don't know why I was happy to get my Covid Jab. Well I guess I was feeling left out, as everyone I know has already had the first jab. And no-one had side effects!!  I guess my nasty lung/heart drugs reacted badly. By 4am I was shivering, aching, and freezing cold.  Then the Throwing Up started!! I eventually got some sleep, and forced myself up to the Yard, despite feeling like shit and having a mental heart rate. So that was another Challenge day wasted !!  

Today I felt better (although weak), and managed 45 minutes of something with Charlie. We started off OK, but he turned on Patchy Twat Mode again, and managed to nudge me so hard I fell over THAT HOOP......Onto the ground....In the Mud!!!!  Oh Well, as Scarlett O'Hara once said. "Tomorrow Is Another Day"