Top Barn Challenge, The Lizard and Nurse Ratched - The Story So Far

 Well we are already in Week 4 of the Top Barn 12 Week Challenge.  One way to make January whizz by. And the weather has been kind.  Its barely rained here in Sunny Suffolk, and more importantly the wind has been elsewhere. Yes its been cold (many frosty mornings), but its bearable without the wind and rain.

And what about that Lizard??? Well Top Barn has an extremely helpful Monday Evening Session with a lady called Vee Sheers.  Its all about confidence.  And what happens when that confidence disappears. This may be caused by a fall for example.  Next time you go to mount, The Lizard rears his ugly head, tells you that you are in danger, and pushes the panic button, which causes the fight or flight response to begin.  Helpful for staying alive in truly life threatening scenarios like being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger back in the year Dot. Not so helpful when you know better, and yet The Lizard still takes over.  The Lizard conveniently forgets the thousand rides you have had with no problem, and only remembers the bad ride.

I had a long chat with Vee. I am not lacking in confidence. I will get on any pony without the slightest fear. Except Charlie.  In fact I am happy to get on. But Charlie also has a Lizard pressing his panic button. He panics when i am not by his head. Once he panics, my Lizard pushes the button, and i jump off.  This has been going on a while.  I constantly get to the point where we are are both happy with me riding him, as long as someone is by his head. Once he panics, my Lizard reminds me of the time he bronced me off.  With my Dodgy Lungs and Dicky Ticker, I don't want to repeat this.  As the former Queen of Bucking Horses, I was more than surprised when he threw me, and so my Lizard remembers this and pushes the panic button......Charlie is a danger when he panics!

Vee suggested I get outside help. So I contacted my old friend Marie to see if she could help.  She could!! And Can!! Marie and I go back to The Dark Ages. We kept our horses together for many years. She was a top show-jumper as a child, and has started (and bred) many youngsters. So last Tuesday she showed up to access Charlie.  As our long-reining is a bit iffy, she started there.  She told me that I cannot do enough long-reining to get him used to going it alone with me behind him. Following another horse he is fine, but alone? Not so good, unless your idea of long reining is looking at the horses face!  Marie took up the reins. Charlie said No. Marie very firmly said Yes Get On. A look of fury crossed Charlies face. Here we go. Then he thought about it and decided he best get on with it. An hour later and we were all exhausted!  So I have been practicing ever since, and he has been a star.  We also addressed the mounting block phobia.  Although I can get on from the ground, the mounting block is a no-go zone. Progress has been made.  I can't wait for our next session.

As well as this, Charlie and I have been fitting in Rhi's Randoms (various groundwork tests), trick training ( We have just achieved our Intermediate Trick Horse certificate from Horse Tricks 101) and filming a Groundwork Competition for Top Barn. I've had more trouble from the Pivo filming the show, than I have from Charlie and i getting it right.  Every time I think I have filmed a perfect take, I find the Pivo has wandered off to intently film a non-moving, non-horse-shaped tree!! After take 1003 I have submitted my much edited entry and the Pivo is now for sale on Ebay!! Its lucky it's not stamped into the ground, or thrown into The North Sea!!! So if anyone wants to buy a 'pre-loved' Pivo.....I have one for sale!

As if this wasn't enough to be going on with, I am still performing my Nurse Ratched duties for my Mum.  Although she is slowly gaining her independence, it is a slow process. However there is light at the end of the Tunnel. We went to The Hairdressers yesterday. And she was less out of breath than I was!  She is regaining her appetite and microwaving meals for herself. I suspect she is sick of my burnt offerings!!  I am in quite a routine now, up early, work Charlie, look after ponies, see to Mum, sometimes eat, and fall asleep sitting up watching Emmerdale!!

Come back next month to see if I am riding Charlie at last!

Listen To Your Horse, A Crazy Month and Top Barn Challenge Begins!

 OMG Its been a crazy month!!! At the end of November my 84 year old mother became ill.  We thought it was a chest infection, so being the only child I began visiting daily ( hour long round trip).  I abandoned the Show-jumping classes and just did The Top Barn Fancy Dress classes with Charlie. (We got a 5th and a 6th and received some massive rosettes).  Apart from that Charlie languished in the field becoming feral, while I raced around in Headless Chicken mode.

Then I lost the plot slightly and decided to take him to a Livery Yard and put him on full grass livery. It seemed the only option in my new Time Short Life!! Christmas Day I went to Mums, and 'enjoyed' a Pot Noodle for Xmas Lunch!  I've had some dodgy Xmas Dinners in my time, but this took the prize!  But, never mind. Boxing Day lunch was booked up with Mark The Mechanic and Part Time Horse Whisperers family at our local Sports Club.  But upon ringing my mum, I discovered she had collapsed and an ambulance had been called.  Lunch abandoned, I got warp speed out of the Astra, and arrived just behind the Ambulance, running up the stairs and bursting into the flat, gasping for air.  The poor Paramedic!!  He was just about to give me oxygen as well and book a second ambulance, but I managed to gasp out that I had a long-standing heart and lung condition, and I would be fine....eventually.  Having extremely low oxygen sats, Mum was taken to hospital with Blue Lights and all.  My life then revolved around a booked in visit with daily Lateral Flow Tests, for a week, until the Hospital suspended visiting.  Turns out she has blood clots on her lungs.

So the day came to take Charlie to his new home.  He has always loaded fine.  In fact any time we have had a trailer or lorry open, he has loaded himself just to check for food. He wouldn't load.  When I say wouldn't, I mean he violently refused, rearing, knocking me over.  He couldn't have said No more clearly. It got dark. We gave up.  When I arrived the next morning, Lu was curled up like a dog. Charlie was flat out, snoring and leaning against Lu. When they got up, I realised Lu had Colic.  Jo and I went into nurse mode, like a well oiled team.  A few hours later, Lu was feeling better and I went home, thinking.  I don't generally think much. I kind of Do, and sometimes React, but never overthink.  However my brain was in Full Thinking Mode.  I realised the Ponies had spoken loud and clear about my decision to move Charlie.  They were not happy. I also realised that I had had a knee-jerk reaction to the changes in my life.  I have always had a habit of doing a thing I call 'Chucking The Balls In The Air'.  When things change, I react without thinking and change everything, and see where the balls land.  It has rarely worked out.  So this time I followed my heart and Charlie's feelings....and we are staying put.

And so the Top Barn 12 week Challenge has begun.  2 days later my Mum was released into the wild.  As weak as a kitten, living alone, but apparently not feeble enough for any help.  And so I am again racing over to cook her meals, shop, clean etc. But I will not give up the Top Barn Challenge.  The answer has been simple!  Get Up Earlier!!!  Plan each day like a Military General. Forgo the PH induced afternoon nap. Ignore the Side Effects from my meds. Oh and ignore the state of the house (Its NOT the end of the world if I don't hoover daily...after all the doggo makes a mess daily).  I have in fact discovered if I ignore the Washing Up long enough that Mark The Mechanic and Part Time Horse Whisperer does it! 

And so the first week of the Challenge has gone surprisingly smoothly. Charlie has forgiven me for trying to move him and is entering into the spirit of the Challenge with enthusiasm.  We have mostly been working on the next Top Barn Competition, and re-visiting our trick training.  We belong to a Trick Training Group, Horse Tricks 101 and are completing our levels. Who needs Sleep?

Back To Normal Whatever That Is and A New Book (Shameless Plug)

 At last I was released from prison (I mean hospital). The first thing I did was get a decent coffee from Costa. I had hoped to see Charlie on the way home but predictably we got caught in an hour long traffic jam, so it was dark when we finally arrived back in Suffolk.   For those that don't know I have Dodgy Lungs and a Dicky Ticker. Back in July I had a line fitted into my heart and received IV drugs via a sexy pump worn at my waist. I hated it. My body hated it and the side effects meant I was constantly throwing up, having headaches, muscle aches and hot flushes. On top of that the pump was incredibly annoying and my heart was rejecting the line. I had a choice of having it re-positioned and taking anti rejection drugs, or having it removed which the hospital did not recommend. Obviously I chose to have the damn thing taken out.  Apparently I may suffer "Sudden Decline" but my body has spoken!  On top of that I did some research.  Apparently in Canada they are removing IV lines in favour of the Oral drug that I have gone back to. Its a newish drug ( I did the Drug Trial for it originally) so no-one actually knows the long term benefits. That's good enough for me. The side effects are unpleasant (mostly headaches and large muscle aches in my case), and daily, but only last 3 hours or so. I feel I have a life back. I can have a shower and actually get wet at the same time.  In fact I can get wet full stop. I don't have a stupid pump constantly bleeping when something goes wrong, I don't have to spend half an hour a day mixing drugs and I can roll over in bed without risking pulling the line out. And best of all I can ride without worrying about the consequences of a fall (apart from gasping for air or passing out). 

While I was in hospital I finished the book I started earlier in the year when I was incarcerated having the line put it.  So it wasn't a total waste of time!  its called Tails From the RDA (about the 10 years I spent as Yard Manager at Hollesley RDA). I screwed up the formatting (Word has never been my strong point) but the book is available on Kindle (Oh the shameless plugging!!!).  There will be a paperback, with photos when I get my head round formatting.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09M7WCKSJ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=horsea-21&linkCode=w00&linkId=828cfe289db61b84b660826dc4a1db9e&creativeASIN=B09M7WCKSJ

I'm so crap at this stuff I don't even know if the link I have just posted will work!

Anyway, so at last I got home. Didn't know weather to stuff my face with actual edible food, or open the exciting post from Top Barn first. I did both. While I was away my rosettes from the Handy Pony and The Halloween Comp had arrived!

Having been told to "do nothing strenuous" and "keep heart rate below 100bmp" for 6 weeks, I raced to the Farm early the next day.  Charlie was gratifyingly happy to see me, nickering and racing to the gate. However after a long long cuddle and lots of muddy mustache kisses he buggered off back to his friends.  When presented with his rosettes he wouldn't let me attach them to his headcollar, viewing them much as I would if presented with a large hairy spider.  Daisy was much more accommodating, wearing what is probably her first rosette ever. 

So the last week I have been "taking it easy", having breakfast with Charlie and working on some patterns and basic leading. I have recorded the metres covered on Equilab, but even I realise now that finishing those 100 miles before xmas is impossible!  I am aiming for 50 miles instead.  So thats half the distance in twice the time! Impressive hey?

But as I am starting to feel stronger the pull of those points for the Top Barn league are calling.  Is it possible to still do the Jumping Classes? I have 5 days. Can I get Charlie jumping in hand in that time?  He can certainly jump, but is not too keen on lunging. And what about Daisy?  She absolutely does not jump. But maybe the patterns are possible in the poles only class? She will probably buck, but without the pump who cares? Will i give it a go? Come back in a couple of weeks to find out!

Handy Pony, Halloween and Help I'm Totally Running Out Of Food!!!

 Well we are indeed in need of a catch-up!! The Handy Pony classes were so much fun. We made a tunnel of hoops and flags, and Charlie did indeed pull the sledge carrying a 2ft green alien!  The ridden was also great fun and both myself and Jo managed to dislodge parts of the tunnel!!!! Even Nancy and Mini joined in and I went to give her some guidance in filming a smooth show.  Sharn't be doing that again!! She beat me!! In fact Nancy and Mini came 2nd, and Me and Charlie came 4th.  Neither Daisy or Lu placed in the Ridden, but we missed out hard (Not Possible) things such as backing.

As soon as we had entered our Handy Pony Films, my mind was on The Halloween Fancy Dress Classes. There was In-hand (Charlie), Ridden (Daisy) and Spookiest Show (Charlie). There was a great excitement at The Top Barn Hub over these classes.  I think deep down, no matter how old we are, we still wish we were those carefree gymkhana kids we once were. I promptly ordered a gory hand, a plastic scythe and some Halloween webs and banners. 

A large box was cut up into gravestones and painted with slightly amusing epitaphs, my mothers 'Cupboard of Doom' was raided for old lace tablecloths, and our precious Fancy Dress suitcase was opened where I found the black cloaks needed for the Grim Reaper. I spent an evening making a tattered wedding dress out of the tablecloths and an afternoon pressing studs into a piece of leather making a gimp mask for Charlie!

I filmed the Ridden with Daisy first, with Jo as my camera manwoman and wardrobe assistant. Daisy and I became the gruesome Corpse Bride and Steed. Top Tip..Put the fake blood on the costume and let it dry before putting it on the pony! Daisy is still pink! Leaving the Spooktacular Show till last, Jo helped me and Charlie film the In-hand class. I'd been teaching Charlie to hold the Scythe and at one point he nearly beheaded both me and Prudence the Bulldog.

I had been holding off filming the Spooktacular Show as I was teaching Charlie to sweep the sand on top of the gravestone to cover up the bones sticking out! In the end I failed to catch it on film!!!!  There were several failures!  I had the set the props up in the 'School'.  Whilst picking up Charlies raggedly hood, I discovered a large spider had taken a fancy to it for its winter nest. Somehow with me yelling and shaking the hood, the Spider ended up on my shoulder, which caused complete meltdown from me, screaming like a banshee and beating at my own body like some deranged self flagellating monk.

Mark the Mechanic and Part Time Horse Whisperer had volunteered to film with different cameras set up at different angles.  Filming was due to commence at dusk.  I went down early, to move the Mini herd, who had spent a couple of days being lawn-mowers in the 'School', fetch Charlie in and feed him, and generally be all ready to roll.  The Minis had trashed the props, which all needed picking up and placing again, Lil was thundering about, thrilled to be back out in the Hill Field, the wind was getting up towards Gale-Force, a muntjac was making an unearthly screaming, and Charlie just wasn't having it.  At the sight of Mark the Mechanic and Part time Horse Whisperer, in the school, he lost the plot. Having galloped around wildly snorting a few times I told Mark to go. When Charlie has these feral moments not much can bring him back to tame.  Mark had no sooner got into his car when Charlie broke through the electric fencing surrounding the 'School' and chased after him, trailing fencing behind him.  I ran (YES RAN) down the Hill, to find Mark in front of his car doing a sterling job of Horse Whispering and defending the beloved Beemer.

The next morning dawned wet and windy. I crept out at first light, moved all the props to the Round Pen, swiftly re-thought the whole show and marched grimly up to get Charlie in.  When I say marched grimly, I actually mean limped pathetically as I had damaged the dodgy knee during the 5 second sprint the day before. However Charlie thought I was marching grimly and believed me when I said I wanted no nonsense, as it was our last chance to film. He was a good boy, and although having no camera man was a bit frustrating, as the wind kept blowing the tripod over, but we got filmed. 

I am so pleased to have found out since that we got 3rd with Daisy and 3rd and 5th with Charlie. Thank you Top Barn.

Anyway I am writing this from a glass box in Papworth Hospital. I have a line that goes from a pump into my heart delivering drugs direct.  Its not working for me  so i am having it out. However its not that simple, so i am looking at my 2nd week trapped here. After nearly wasting away last time, I bought a weeks worth of snacks, thinking id be home by now. But I'm not. The latest guess is Friday release. And I am totally running out of food!!!!

Autumn Has Arrived, The Handy Pony Comp and Daisy The Highland

 And just like that Autumn has arrived!!! One day we were still sweltering in 24c and the next? Torrential rain arrived on 40mph winds! I think the shorts and crocs have been firmly put away for the next six months now. Of course we were moaning about the drought.  At least the fields are looking slightly less yellow.  Too late for the Bigger Ponies though, who quickly ran out of grass on The Hill Field and had to be moved onto the Winter Grazing.

Before the rain came, I had been sawing, screwing and painting for our Handy Pony Course.  My imagination may have ran away with me, and I may have bought a 2ft blow up alien and a Childs sledge!!!!  Jo and I had a practice with Charlie and Lu for the In-Hand Class.  They were both amazing, wearing Full Harness and dragging Hay nets full of clothing for the first time. Charlie was so chilled I even got on him for the first time since April. He immediately un-chilled and although the explosion of bucks never happened, he was very fidgety.

Jo wanted to practice her Ridden Entry, so I got Daisy in to keep her company. This sweet old mare did so well and enjoyed herself so much, I have entered the Ridden Class with her as well. Whilst editing the videos, I realised how much fun Daisy can be, and decided to 'share' her with Shaneece-Who-Helps-On-Saturdays.  Not only will this give me my riding muscles back, it will also give Daisy hers back too.  I have even had her in for a short schooling session this week (before the storms came).

For those that don't know Daisy, she a a 14.2hh Highland Mare, aged about 21???? Jo will confirm her age.  Jo rescued her from a horrible life that she spent in solitary confinement, about 7 years ago.  She was shut down, angry and horribly overweight.  Although we got the weight off her, she kept developing sudden onset Laminitis, one bout we nearly lost her as her Pedal Bones rotated in all four feet.  Blood tests confirmed she had EMS. 

With the help of a brilliant Farrier, and Jo researching everything about EMS we got her sound. And have kept her sound ever since.  The anger disappeared very quickly with lots of love and being kept out in a herd and she is the sweetest most loving mare. She is pretty bombproof, but has absolutely no brakes whatsoever and can have some frilly moments, cantering on the spot and plunging. But nothing malicious at all. I am so looking forward to doing more with her when these storms blow out.

An Indian Summer, Ponying, The !00 Mile Challenge Update, and Top Barn Handy Pony Comp

 Yup its The Weather Channel here. We were promised storms!  They didn't get any nearer than 20 miles away.  Still we were promised a day of rain. We got a little light rain.  Just enough to lay the dust for an hour. Jo and I had already moved the Minis into the Hill Field, but were waiting for the rain before we fenced it into 2 paddocks. As it never came, we bit the bullet and spent 4 hours (YES 4 HOURS) hammering the fence posts into a concrete ground. But now the Herd is reunited in the same field, making life easier for us.  We can enjoy the Indian Summer.  Its back to shorts! 

I was able to film Charlies Liberty Class in the abandoned 4 Acre Field with no problem. Mostly dust now, there wasn't much point in him trying to find a blade of grass to munch on. He was a very good boy apart from the Lunging/Circling. He just does not like to be that far away from me!

And so onto those 100 miles!!!!!! 😁.   MMMMmmm. We have been plodding on. Last week I tried ponying Charlie off Daisy. Considering I haven't ridden since the end of April (due to the Dodgy Lungs and Dicky Ticker, and the subsequent fitting of Paddy Pump, who delivers IV drugs straight into my heart), coupled with Daisy not having been ridden for about 6 weeks, it might have been a bit risky.  But it all turned out ok.  I covered Paddy Pump in a childs water arm-band thingy (Megs Brainwave) and went for it. We went out with Jo on Lu, and Meg with Nancy on Mini.  Daisy spent 5 minutes jogging and humping her back, kicking out at Charlie, then settled down to merely biting him, when we stopped to wait for Mini. All in all No Drama, and best of all I felt completely at home.....I did wonder if Paddy Pump would cause some apprehension, but i forgot about him! This week Charlie and I have been limping around (Well I have been limping, not Charlie).  We went for a wander down the lane with Jo and Joey on Lu and Daisy, in Long Reins and he was brilliant.  I dragged a stick home with us, making as much noise as possible. Apart from an initial mini freak out he settled to the noise.  Then we made THAT video.  We did an appeal for donation of miles!!!! OOps my twisted sense of humour!  The Top Barn Hub responded with offers of donated miles and even an offer of a rosette.  I am truly humbled at the response!!! I love you all.  But it was a joke.  I would never take anything I hadn't earned, but what an amazing group of people. I have a habit of ripping the piss out of everything, mostly myself!!! I will continue to clock up the miles and hope to finish by Xmas....like those people that finish the London Marathon days after everyone else.  The further I walk with Charlie the more trusting he has become, and we have ventured out of his comfort zone alone twice this week. Only another 80ish miles to go!!!   By the way (quick plug here), back in the day, my friend Tess and I took my two ponies down to Wiltshire and rode the Ridgeway. Dressed in Balldresses. To raise money for the RDA.. We did 120miles in 6 days. There is a book available on Amazon Kindle called .....'The Ridgeway Romp' Plug Plug Plug....Shameless Plugging!!!!😊.

And now my mind is on the latest Top Barn Comp. The Handy Pony Competition. Yay!  Despite being, er, er, 55, I am still that Gymkhana Kid at heart, so have entered already.  My mind is on creating another obstacle course. My tool belt is out, and tonight I painted a jump filler as a wall. I'm so excited. Stay tuned x

Somewhat Challenged, Those 100 Miles and Strange Weather.

 Oh Yes. It's the Weather Channel again!!!  I just feel I have to mention it, being British and all! August has been....er....odd!! Every day its been cloudy, heavy and around 20c. But NO RAIN, except for 5 minutes of mizzle. With a North wind steadily blowing its a been chilly enough to wear jeans, boots and jacket. Then the sun peaks out (usually late afternoon) and its clothes off, sweltering! I'm confused!

So the Top Barn Challenges!  Well Lulu and I went out of Last Horseman Standing on Level 4.  Simple Challenge!!!! Lunge horse in walk, stopping every quarter of a circle (like a clock-face on 12, 3, 6 and 9). Lu, like many horses has been taught to go forward on the lunge.  We worked at it daily. We really tried. I discovered in long reins off the bit, she would halt, but that was due to pressure on her mouth. The minute I went to one rein, no halt. I tried everything. Carrots (lots of), leading to start, a surcingle, a single rein through the bit, no bit, different words, waving a whip in front of her, jumping out in front of her, crouching down, sitting down, crying!!!! Lu was getting as frustrated as I was.  So that was it. We were defeated. On Monday I had a look at Challenge 5, And I Laughed! And Laughed.  Challenge 5 is a ridden challenge, backing up round a Figure 8.  I may have mentioned.....Lu does not back up for anyone!!!! That made me feel better.   Its been interesting to work with Lu.  She has been trained differently to Charlie, and its been a challenge in itself to communicate what I want.  I wish the remaining Challengers the Best of Luck.

And so the 100 mile Challenge with Charlie?  Well its safe to say we will never crack it in the time left, having just got under 90 miles left!!!!!! When I signed up, I thought the IV drugs may help my breathing. Which they have, a bit.  I forgot my right leg was as strong as a foal in its first 15 minutes! And I forgot Charlies ability to plant like a thousand year old Oak, when he is unsure. However, he is doing well at long reining.  I abandoned the idea of driving him when I uncovered his cataract over the lens of his off-side eye. BUT....Who is to say we can't drive without blinkers eh?  I asked Mark the Mechanic and Part-time Horse Whisperer to make me a large skateboard, so Charlie could pull me along.  He refused on the grounds of it being dangerous! ???????  So i have bought some roller-trainers!!

I have also caught Mark watching Pony Carts on Ebay!!!!!!  My (very bad) maths says we have to do 2.5 miles a day to complete in time.  I'm thinking that I will just see how long it actually takes me to complete 100 miles. I can crack on when Charlie and I have filmed our entry for the Top Barn Liberty class. Most of the test is no problem.....till we get to the Lunging part. On a line, off a line, Charlie does not like to move away from me.  So we are working on following a target around me.  We are getting there. We have a week or so to complete.  If I don't break my neck on the Roller-Trainers!! It all might be easier to just jump on and ride the bugger!!!!!!